Some readers reached out and said I should persevere. Thank you.
Examine Your Reasons
People argue because they want something: a blocked goal or a feeling of control. When anger signals a blocked goal the person feeling angry might be blocked from something healthy and good like approval, acceptance, validation, or understanding. An argumentative person might also be in the throes of desiring something that is ungodly: some right or privilege they think they deserve, some object they believe is essential.
Do you want something that the Lord provides? If so, ask Him instead.
Anger can signal a desire for control, control over our own difficult emotions like grief or a desire for stability when we feel off-balance. Grief can hit us like a tidal wave and make us lose control; grief unmoors us all. It’s much easier to choose anger, which at least lends some semblance of power, rather than surrender to a flood of grief that destabilizes you when you least expect it.
When others respond aggressively towards us it might be because we have “bumped” up against their ideas or unbalanced them somehow. We might not even know how we’ve offended them but they feel unsafe. Hurting people hurt others. When someone hasn’t had their beliefs or ideas challenged they can feel threatened by someone else’s firm stance. Responding with calm, tender stability when they throw a wobbly is the best response.
Arguing with someone to accomplish your goals or to feel powerful isn’t good.
Do you have a gentle spirit? If not, it’s better to stay quiet. Do you want something from a person that the Lord can provide? Ask God instead.
Here are some verses to consider.
Hatred stirs up strife, but love covers all offenses. Prov 10:12
There are six things that the Lord hates, seven that are an abomination to him: haughty eyes, a lying tongue, and hands that shed innocent blood, a heart that devises wicked plans, feet that make haste to run to evil, a false witness who breathes out lies, and one who sows discord among brothers. Prov 6:16-19
Remind the people to be subject to rulers and authorities, to be obedient, to be ready to do whatever is good, to slander no one, to be peaceable and considerate, and always to be gentle toward everyone.
At one time we too were foolish, disobedient, deceived and enslaved by all kinds of passions and pleasures. We lived in malice and envy, being hated and hating one another. But when the kindness and love of God our Savior appeared, he saved us, not because of righteous things we had done, but because of his mercy. He saved us through the washing of rebirth and renewal by the Holy Spirit, whom he poured out on us generously through Jesus Christ our Savior, so that, having been justified by his grace, we might become heirs having the hope of eternal life. This is a trustworthy saying. And I want you to stress these things, so that those who have trusted in God may be careful to devote themselves to doing what is good. These things are excellent and profitable for everyone.
But avoid foolish controversies and genealogies and arguments and quarrels about the law, because these are unprofitable and useless. Warn a divisive person once, and then warn them a second time. After that, have nothing to do with them. You may be sure that such people are warped and sinful; they are self-condemned. Titus 3:1-11
Keep reminding God’s people of these things. Warn them before God against quarreling about words; it is of no value, and only ruins those who listen. Do your best to present yourself to God as one approved, a worker who does not need to be ashamed and who correctly handles the word of truth. Avoid godless chatter, because those who indulge in it will become more and more ungodly. Their teaching will spread like gangrene. 2 Timothy 2: 14-17
And this is my prayer: that your love may abound more and more in knowledge and depth of insight, so that you may be able to discern what is best and may be pure and blameless for the day of Christ, filled with the fruit of righteousness that comes through Jesus Christ—to the glory and praise of God. …. Whatever happens, conduct yourselves in a manner worthy of the gospel of Christ. Then, whether I come and see you or only hear about you in my absence, I will know that you stand firm in the one Spirit, striving together as one for the faith of the gospel without being frightened in any way by those who oppose you. … Therefore if you have any encouragement from being united with Christ, if any comfort from his love, if any common sharing in the Spirit, if any tenderness and compassion, then make my joy complete by being like-minded, having the same love, being one in spirit and of one mind. Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others. Philippians 1-2
Do not contend with a man for no reason, when he has done you no harm. Prov 3:30